Picture from the bands album cover

What can I say?
Dare I say it for fear of retribution from the gang of drunken thugs in this terrible, terrible band?

Do NOT put any money into these w*nk*rs pockets by paying to see them live, let alone but their atrocious CD.

The Gig:
B*stard Clough, the lead so-called 'vocalist' was obviously drunk as a lord and failed to hit a single note in time or tune during the first song. I suppose he is nearly sixty, but there's no room for sympathy in the pop trade.

Fanny F*ckbister (also allegedly a vocalist - I'm not convinced!) then took the lead role - belting out a somewhat unusual cover of 'Top of The World' by The Carpenters played using samples of trouser presses. Disappointing.

Although hopes rose as 'Gayboy' (his choice of name - not mine!) took over for the pleasant vocals of 'Momma Doesn't Need To Know,' they were soon dashed, as it emerged it was in fact a song about paedophilia, from the viewpoint of the abuser.

Fanny then insisted on an unplanned rant for OVER FIVE MINUTES about not keeping animals in your house, culminating in an outpouring of bitter vitriol about the non-merits of keeping giraffes in your house. Weird.

As they broke into the next song - "Wee Wee in my Knick Knick's," the crowd had had enough. With the crowd lynching anything they could at the band, the plug was finally pulled, and a dreadful twenty minutes had come to a merciful end. B*stard was seen crying backstage with a bruised leg.

You might think I have a vendetta against 'Lower Dignity' - I don't. In fact, I've met them personally and they seemed like nice chaps (for thugs). I just feel that I should be honest, and honestly - they're shit.

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Lower Dignity - The Witchwood, Ashton-under-Lyne ©2001 Dave Small & Virtually Acoustic
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